APPETIZERS
Quick, dirty and potentially regrettable.
PARASITIC MEMES
A refined selection of internet jokes, reformatted for your “TOV”.
GRAPHIC BITES
Bite sized visual and motion snacks, carefully plated for scrollability.
CANCEL COPY
Bad jokes. Worse timing.
THE LOGOWANK
Your logo, sprinkled generously on any and all available content.
SIDES
A taste of something worse.
USELESS FACTS
Impress your creative director, confuse your colleagues.
BIG DICK DECKS
Big ideas, bigger decks, no KPIs.
JARGON DESIGN
The marketing buzzwords of tomorrow.
Meaning optional.
DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT
Your logo - on a T-shirt. Or anything else we can drag it on top of.
UNWANTED ADVICE
About anything. Anytime.
Social media content tailored to the intelligence of a 9-year old.
Seems dumb, performs better.
KIDS MENU
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STARTERS
Warm up your CEO with lukewarm ideas.
FORAGED VISUALS
Freshly parasited from the internet, credited to the “unknown”.
TREND TAPENADE
Cultural consultancy for the culturally confused.
STRATEGY TARTARE
Raw, unprepared creative ideas.
MAIN COURSES
Overhyped, overcooked, overpriced.
CAMPAIGN À LA PARASITE
Marketing campaign with Parasite’s signature flavours: satirical, low-brow, DIY and provocative.
BRANDING ROYALE
A distinctive visual identity, freshly made to order. Wild graphics, bad logos, unsocial content, and creative charts.
PARASITE-A-PORTER
A full-course product service, from sketch to shipment. Our house special is with parasited materials.
LOCALLY PLANTED PARTIES
Events that you’ll actually have fun at. We’ll have a go at anything.
DESSERTS
Sweet afterthoughts for afterwards.
FAUX-POLOGIES
“We are listening, we are learning, we are sorry.”
Most of our dishes contain sarcasm.
If you suffer from sensitivity, order with caution.
ALLERGY ADVICE
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We specialise in concept development, subversive branding, cultural consultancy, and guerrilla marketing with a satirical edge.
For the disillusioned, by the disillusioned.
BECAUSE WE’RE UNBURDENED BY:
An Impeccable Reputation
Creative Best Practices
Industry Standards
Brand Consistency
Common Sense
“Genuinely shocking.” – Wieden+Kennedy
“Untrainable.” – Ex-BBH Creative
“Do not let them near a pitch.” – Brand Consultant, ex-Nowness
“They think kerning is a fish.” – LinkedIn Comment
“The worst thing to happen to brand strategy since Pepsi’s rebrand.” – Vice Media
“This deck made me cry.” – Senior Account Manager, Art Partner
“Unhireable. Unlikable. Unfortunately unforgettable.” – Creative Recruiter
“This isn’t satire. This is a cry for help.” – Junior Editor, Business of Fashion
“Too poor for fashion, too rude for branding.” – Admissions, Central Saint Martins
“We had to cleanse the space after the pitch.” – Brand Director, Soho House
“It’s giving junior deck with senior trauma.” – Ex-art Director, The Face
“A tumour on the face of brand strategy.” – Strategy Director, Balenciaga
“The reason we stopped doing internships.” – Head of Talent, Highsnobiety
“Like if Fyre Festival tried to rebrand as a think tank.” – Former Brand Director, Dazed
“A masterclass in how to never work again.” – Art Director, Ferdinando Verderi
“The creative equivalent of asbestos.” – Strategy Director, The Face
